Vital Grace: The Empowering Path of Burnout Recovery in Women

You seem to be doing it all—excelling in your career, relationships, and home life. Everyone can count on you to be there for them. However, you feel that you are drowning in a sea of expectations. You are exhausted and depleted, but the guilt keeps you from resting. Feeling disconnected from yourself, you wonder how you got to this point and don’t quite see a way out. If this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing burnout.

Burnout is a state of chronic stress that is characterized by physical and emotional exhaustion, cynicism and detachment, and feelings of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment. “The most important symptom of burnout is the feeling of total exhaustion—to the extent that it cannot be remedied by normal recovery phases of an evening, a weekend, or even a vacation,” says researcher Christian Dormann, PhD. The key difference between stress and burnout lies in how you engage with your environment. When you are stressed, you can still manage your tasks and remain engaged. However, when you are burned out, you feel like you can’t keep up anymore and become disengaged. Although burnout is often associated with work, it can also be caused by other areas of life, such as relationships, caretaking, and parenting, and can have far-reaching effects. Burnout has been associated with a weakened immune system, musculoskeletal pain, cardiovascular disease, and depressive symptoms. Here are the signs of burnout:

Signs of physical and emotional exhaustion

• Chronic fatigue

• Insomnia

• Forgetfulness/impaired concentration and attention

• Physical symptoms (chest pain, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, gastrointestinal pain, dizziness, fainting, and headaches)

• Increased illness (infections, colds, flu, and other immune-related conditions)

• Loss of appetite

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Anger

 Signs of cynicism and detachment

• Loss of enjoyment

• Pessimism

• Isolation

• Detachment

 Signs of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment

• Feelings of apathy and hopelessness

• Increased irritability

• Lack of productivity and poor performance

According to the 2021 Women in the Workplace study, the largest study on the state of women in corporate America, 42% of women say they have been often or almost always burned out compared to 35% of men. The study also found that 1 in 3 women considered leaving the workforce or downshifting their careers. Additionally, recent trends show that women in leadership are leaving companies at unprecedented rates, citing unmanageable stress and lack of fulfillment. Women experience higher rates of burnout due to workplace inequality, unpaid labor, and societal expectations. They face gender pay gaps, lack of advancement opportunities, and workplace discrimination. They are also expected to do the emotional labor of managing feelings, relationships, and interpersonal dynamics inside and outside of work. Women account for more than 75% of the total unpaid domestic labor, and working women often return home to take on this “second shift.” Domestic labor also includes the mental load, the work involved in running a household and caring for a family. A heavy mental load is associated with higher stress, anxiety, and poor mental health. Women have also been socialized to be the caregivers and nurturers, prioritizing the needs of others. Taking time for themselves can trigger feelings of guilt. Many believe that their self-worth is tied to how giving they are, making it difficult to say no or to rest. For some, this can also mean tying their self-worth to how productive they are, leading them to become high achievers who overcommit themselves.

The pressure to be “good”—pleasing, agreeable, and self-sacrificing—often leads women to suppress their true needs and feelings and can result in emotional numbness and depression over time. It can also lead them to develop patterns of people-pleasing and perfectionism. They have learned that they can best achieve emotional safety and belonging by being likable. The fear of disapproval and rejection leads them to avoid saying no and setting boundaries. Psychotherapist and author Nancy Colier, LCSW, Rev., explains, “Perhaps the most obvious downside of being someone with no “no” in her vocabulary is deep and profound burnout—emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual. When we don’t take care of our own needs and protect our own energy and well-being, we end up depleted and exhausted—overextended and overwhelmed, stretched too thin, and bone-tired from giving everyone else what they want and need from us. This burnout can then lead to a kind of hopelessness, apathy, and even depression.” Identity erosion often intensifies the burnout, as women feel like they are only the roles that they serve. This heavy toll is supported by research, which has linked chronic self-sacrificing to higher rates of depression, anxiety, and physical health issues such as heart disease and autoimmune conditions.

Recognizing the need for self-care is the first step toward recovering from burnout. Self-care is about protecting your time, energy, and sense of self. It starts with getting adequate sleep, proper nutrition, and regular exercise. Research shows that working reasonable hours and taking breaks increases productivity and creativity. Practicing mindfulness can help reduce stress, improve focus, and build resilience. Setting boundaries is crucial, such as scheduling time for yourself, saying “no,” and communicating your needs. While many women feel that they have no support and power through on their own, seeking support is not only essential—it is a sign of strength. Although self-care is critical, many women use it to manage the symptoms of a life that they are too scared or exhausted to change. Psychologist Shannon Sauer-Zavala, PhD, explains, “For example, a morning routine can't compensate for a job that erodes your soul, a calendar built for other people’s priorities, and a default mode of “yes” at work.” Rather than relying solely on self-care practices, it’s important for women to consider whether their lives are built around what they value or what is expected of them.

Ultimately, recovering from burnout involves reconnecting with your internal voice. In research, the internal voice is referred to as authenticity, the alignment of your inner world with your outer life. Psychologist and author Melanie McNally, PsyD, says, “It’s the blend of intuition, core values, and deep personal desires that shape the choices we make—when we let it.” Studies on authenticity consistently show that women who prioritize alignment with their internal values report higher well-being, stronger relationships, and greater resilience. Unfortunately, many women have quieted their internal voice for so long that they forget who they are and what they want.

As psychologist and author Joan Borysenko, PhD, writes in her book, “Fried: Why You Burn Out and How to Revive,” “Revival from burnout is always about the recovery of lost authenticity. It's waking up to who we really are and realizing that heaven is not a destination, but a state of mind. If being fried can bring us to the point where we reconnect to our own true nature, then it's worth every moment of separation to rediscover that heaven that has been inside of us all along.”

From learning to listen to your body and rest to recognizing the need to change course, reconnecting with your internal voice guides you toward greater well-being, alignment, and fulfillment. Each choice brings you closer to living the life that you want—and that’s where your freedom lies. You hold the power to choose. This is the empowering path of burnout recovery.